I must be extremely disconnected from this author's perception of the world (and their relationship with their daughter).
This quote at the very top of the article really grinds my gears: "Few things are more painful than loving a 15-year-old girl, particularly when she is your child."
The rest of the article isn't as catchy, but reads a lot like a very long (15-year) case of postpartum depression.
Please don't post shallow dismissals, especially when mixed with rage. None of us, including you I'm sure, wants HN to be the kind of place where people just secrete unfiltered bile.
The last comment is quite rude and clearly unsubstantiated.
The writer speaks of missing the daughters childhood. That is not postpartum depression.
I see a mother respecting the boundaries a young person is experimenting with as she forms new relationships outside her parental ones. Something I expect is quite difficult as both parties make mistakes.
You speak as if you find human disconnect baffling. Perhaps you've had no trouble in your relationships, but I'm extremely disconnected from your apparent perspective that parental relationships with teenagers can't be a source of a lot of pain for all parties.
(I write as a 22 year old remembering my own somewhat recent teenage years.)
I appreciated that the author even related her disconnection to her daughter to her own perspective of the same thing when she had been the same age.
The whole point of childrearing is that the kids have to disconnect as part of becoming responsible independent adults. While the ultimate level of disconnection varies by parent/child, the process of getting there is going to oscillate above and below the "ideal" amount.
This quote at the very top of the article really grinds my gears: "Few things are more painful than loving a 15-year-old girl, particularly when she is your child."
The rest of the article isn't as catchy, but reads a lot like a very long (15-year) case of postpartum depression.