It's a somewhat unique point of view from someone who has studied such things to try to figure out how and why they work that way in hopes of escaping such patterns.
It's frustrating but not exactly surprising that this is rapidly turning into a dismissive pile on.
FWIW, I for one enjoyed reading your perspective. This is something my wife and I discuss all the time. We're both ambitious in our respective careers, and your points have added value to my view of this discussion. Thanks for sharing.
Yeah, if a woman suggests that HN might be a bit sexist there is inevitably a horde of people rushing to prove their non-sexism by downvoting the one woman in the discussion.
>and maybe even refraining from downvoting a post b/c that user is a woman is itself sexist?
You're not supposed to say that, or treat women as equals -- in that you equally troll them / equally openly disagree / become equally aggresive / or equally "well actually" them as you'd do for any fellow nerd...
Equality somehow means "treat women equal, but different".
For example "well actually" it's something a nerd does to another nerd all the time. If you do it to woman though, it's "mansplaining" and its sexist...
It's frustrating but not exactly surprising that this is rapidly turning into a dismissive pile on.