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How is this passive aggression? “You’re not using porn, because I say so, and you’re not using a computer without a porn filter, because I bought it”

That’s not passive aggression, that’s responsible parenting and clear boundaries.



I read it as the author being passive aggressive -- they're implying the problem is parents who, instead of learning how to manage what their children can do with electronic devices, just want the government to make bad things illegal.

But, you know, we've never been able to agree as a people on what "bad things" are. So it should be, as you said, for each parent to engage in setting boundaries and being responsible.


"Because I say so" is a weak ass argument, no argument at all. "Because I bought it" is passive aggressive, because you do not intend to allow even if you did not buy it.


It’s not an argument it’s just a statement of fact. “You can’t do this because I bought it” explains what (you can’t do X without Y) and why (I own Y and can therefore control the use of Y).

Now, it doesn’t explain why the decision was made in the first place to enforce a porn filter as a requirement for using the device, but again - it’s not an argument.

I agree that it doesn’t provide a complete explanation because as you mention, if the child bought their own device there would still be restrictions, but that wasn’t the case being discussed.


It’s not an argument, it’s a command.

You’re not convincing your kids that you are right. You are reminding them of the consequences if they disagree.


> You’re not convincing your kids that you are right. You are reminding them of the consequences if they disagree

Very inadvisable. Raise them in view to being adults.


I absolutely do this, but there are times when "because I said so" is the actual answer.

As an adult, there are plenty of situations where you are subject to the authority of others. Learning to deal with disagreement with that is also part of being an adult.


Interesting, but your lapsus may be worth noting:

if you show your good reasons then they will find themselves under «the authority of others»,

whereas if you don't they will find themselves «subject to» the power of others.

Opportunity and effects may vary.


That’s a good point.

That said, this is exactly the conversations my wife and I have with our kids. In life, there are times when you voluntarily place yourself under someone’s authority. There are other times when you’re subject to their power, the source of which is irrelevant is it is outside your control.

We’re unschooling anarchists, so our conversations are a bit wild at times :).

OTOH, my 16- and 11-year-olds just learned the word “lapsus” :P


> We’re unschooling anarchists

I thought you're supposed to grow out of this phase before you have kids.


I’ll let you know if my 16-year-old does. She’s enrolled in college for the fall.


No, that's literally propaganda from people who want you not to grow out of being passive sheep for capitalism.




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